Monday, May 8, 2016 - Day 3
Shower Bath Camp to Whispering Spring Camp
9:30 AM - 5:15 PM
4 miles
Elevation Loss: 1,200

At breakfast we discussed whether to stay and spend our rest day at Shower Bath Camp instead of hiking down to Whispering Spring Camp. But it wouldn't be a rest day because we would hike the 4 miles down to Whispering Spring Camp and 4 miles back using day packs. I could tell by the look on her face that Haley wanted to press on. Nancy told me Haley really wanted to keep going and Nancy said she felt like she was able to do it. I felt ambivalent and embarrassed - I was still very sore and tired, but was feeling a bit better. The idea of doing an 8 mile hike with lighter packs today versus 4 miles with a heavy pack wasn't appealing. I felt like I had the strength to do 4 hard miles, but not 8 hard miles with a lighter pack. I said I thought I could do the 4 mile hike.

For the first mile I enjoyed walking through water from mid-boot to mid-chest and scrambling over boulders. My legs were sore but I felt like I had enough energy and motivation to do to maintain a decent pace. Then WHAM, during the second mile, I started to crash. My legs gave out and the muscle pain and weakness tore me apart. Nancy encouraged me the best she could. I had not felt this tired in many years and the mental stamina needed to keep myself from falling into an emotional space that could have resulted in complete physical and emotional surrender felt more than I could summon on this day. Not only did I have to make my body continue to hike, I had to force my mind to somehow feel positive about where I was, how I felt, and what I was doing. An onerous task.

I stayed with it. Each time I thought I could go no farther, I found a way to push a little harder against my body and my heart. Nancy could see my distress, and talked to me, encouraged me, told me I could do it, that I was doing it. What a blessing to have Nancy with me, someone who has seen me at my lowest ebb and never stopped loving me.

We were doing about a mile an hour pace, including breaks, according to Stefan. We tried to break after an hour and 15 minutes to get the most out of the time and distance. Nancy was wicked tired and I was relieved when I got a second wind so I could support her for a while.

It rained pretty heavily (though briefly) during the hike and I had not put on my rain jacket at our last break spot, so I got soaked. I had to push hard to stay warm. An hour or two later, my clothes were dry and on we slogged. And on and on...

I fell several times today. As tired as I was and despite using trekking poles, I sometimes lost the constant focus needed to be aware of where I was putting my boots. Once I lost my balance, fell and zinged the inside of my wrist. A little blood, tingling nerve pain, but no real harm. I fell again while we were scrambling over an obstacle. I was waiting for Haley to find her way through the rock maze and I lost patience with standing there waiting so I moved my foot closer to the rock she was standing on and in a split second my boot slipped and I fell heavily into the water, putting out my arms at the last second to prevent myself from doing a face-plant on a big rock rising out of the water next to me. I was lucky: no bruises, no lacerations and no contusions, but the suddenness of the fall scared me and the adrenalin rush was intense. The resulting shivers and weakness as it faded left me even more exhausted. It was hard to feel good about the weak and painful state of my body, and I continued to struggle to keep up with Nancy. In order to keep a bit of an eye on me, Nancy asked me to hike in front of her. I used all the positive mental attitude I could muster to stay focused and keep moving.

Maybe hiking last and having to wait for Haley and Nancy to cross each obstacle, anticipating how I was going to cross the obstacle - the trepidation I felt when I sat down on a boulder the size of a house and scooted my way to the edge - the pain in my quads screaming as I lowered my pack-heavy body to a sitting position - was simply too much. The very act of sitting down took a while and I needed Stefan's help on every obstacle after the first 2 - 3 hours of hiking. I could no longer get over the obstacles using my own strength.

We arrived at the Whispering Spring Camp around 5:15 PM and saw a couple of backpacks sitting on a rock in the middle of the camp site. Stefan looked for a note, but since he didn't find one or see any evidence that the owners were planning on spending the night there, he told us to set up camp. When they returned, if they were staying, there were other comfortable places to camp nearby that they could use. Nancy really didn't like that and I had trouble too. I kept imagining how I would feel after a long day, getting back to "camp" and finding four people had taken over the spot. When the young couple finally returned, they were polite and generous, said they would find another place, and spoke to Stefan - when they found out he was a guide - about water and camping sources in the surrounding slot canyons and in Kanab Creek. Eventually they took their packs and set up camp close to us but out of sight, hidden by some low trees and scrub.

Our camp site was on a beach, next to a loud waterfall that filled the air with sound. Straight ahead from camp, there was a slot canyon where, ½ a mile up, was Whispering Spring, our source for clean water. To hike a mile for water was more than I could do, more than any of us, except Stefan, could do. While he went for water, we set up our tents, changed into dry clothes, hung out all the wet stuff and sat, waiting for him to get back to start dinner. We were hungry and tired of eating "snacks". We wanted real food.

Dinner, as I recall, was a chicken and rice stew...must have had freeze-dried veggies or beans in it; I can't remember. I do know it tasted great and I went back for seconds. We sat together and talked about this and that while we drank our hot drink and the blue of the sky gradually turned a deeper shade of purple, then finally to the black of night. By headlamp we brushed our teeth, used the facilities (not), and crawled into our tents to finally, finally lie down. I spewed a huge sigh of relief when I finally was able to let go of the tension I had held all day - the stress of hiking, sitting on rocks while eating, and of course the emotional struggle I experienced that day. Lying down and talking softly with Nancy was bliss.

We never really slept well on this trip and tonight was no different. Although I was able to fall asleep quickly this night, I was gradually awakened when I felt a mist of water droplets falling intermittently on my face. It was raining! Not hard but enough and we didn't know if it would rain for 10 minutes or two hours. Nancy got up, and without using her headlamp, got the tent fly out of her pack and started putting it over the tent. In the darkness she was stubbing her toes on rocks, stepping on things, and fighting the breeze that had come up. I turned on my headlamp and shone it through the mesh screen to give her some light. It was almost funny - as soon as she put one side over the tent, the other side blew off. Nancy was cursing and cranky, and decided to hold it down with rocks. That seemed to work for a while. But when a corner blew up, I got up and clipped the fly onto the support poles. I had to pee anyway. The rain stopped maybe 10 minutes later. All that effort...

Day 4